Utz Potato Chip Factory, Hanover, Pennsylvania

The STU Factory, Hanover Pa.

We shot up Rt. 26 to Hanover, Md., home to 15,000 people, dozens of awesome Victorian houses, and Utz Potato Chips.  We spotted the old fabricated steel sign as we approached and I beamed with anticipation. You can see it from behind in my photo where it looks more like we visited the "STU" factory.)
     A steel sign.
   When a factory has a steel sign like that one it suggests age.  With age comes experience.  With experience comes expertise!  
      I knew any chips purchased in the area would be perfect, golden, crisp and delicious. Honestly, I had tears in my eyes, something only another potato chip junkie could possibly understand. Allow me to better explain.
     We are a simple people, we chip junkies.  Our passion usually begins with that first chip we consume at a young age.  In my case it started while growing up in a somewhat low-income home. Once a month, my Mother would bring home a box of Utz chips, a big box.  That was out treat for not burning down the house while my Mom worked at her miserable job. I remember the box cost 47 cents in 1968, and my greatest thrill was being allowed to open the box and eat the first two or three perfect chips off the top.
     I was in heaven.  The aroma of fresh chips is still one of favorite food scents and I made my selection with the skill of a Jamaican Jenga hustler.  Even the salt tasted somehow exotic, different than any other salt found in my entire 8 years of life. 
     I vowed to one day find where Utz purchased this special salt, but never have.
     As I grew older, my addiction grew worse.  I discovered how a common bologna sandwich could be transformed into crunchy fine dining by adding a handful of chips, a practice labeled disgusting by many of my schoolmates, but I didn't care.  I was well past being a recreational potato chip eater and had moved into daily experimentation.
     I even scooped ice cream now and then, but never when I felt I might be caught.
     In my teen years it grew worse for I'd unknowingly begun a quest.  I felt an actual thrill whenever I'd spot a new brand or flavor and, God help me, I tried all of them to get that original thrill. Dill, hot, taco, corn, chili, sea salt & vinegar, Old Bay, BBQ.... it didn't matter.  My habit was insatiable. 

Utz Potato Chip variations

     Yes, of course there were disappointments on my journey. As I grew older, I traveled and discovered what I consider exotics making my habit worse.  For example, there's Wise Potato Chips in nearby Baltimore.  People  from Baltimore actually  love Wise Chips, but I can't understand why.  Their trademark seems to be burning their chips, a practice I'll never understand.     
     Many people reading this won't understand, but many will.  To the latter, I can only offer a knowing nod.  You are not alone, my brothers and sisters.
     So, there we were, driving past a factory comparable -at leat to me- to Willie Wonka's mythical operation. I half expected to see Oompa Loompas hanging out on their loading dock, but saw none.  What I did see was a sign reading 'Outlet Store.'
     You have no idea how this hit me. I stomped the gas, made several illegal driving maneuvers, and swung into the parking lot.  This would be great!  This would be Shangri La!  If those first perfect chips had impressed, how could wonderful would the chips be coming right off the line? Additionally, there would be no middlemen jacking up the prices, so I expected them to be dirt cheap.
     Actually, I was kind of disappointed.  There were about half a dozen sample bins with plastic tongs to try out fairly common varieties. I ate a one sample and found it lacking.  I watched a guy using the tongs to fill his pockets with peanut butter-filled pretzels before slinking out the door, the cheap bastard.  That was it for the free stuff.
      The prices were hardly what I'd call thrilling, perhaps a dime off the small bags with proportionate discounts on the larger items.
      And there were no experimental flavors to be found. Not one!  One would think there might be several new varieties, perhaps Onion 'n' Gator, or Honey Taco.  I'd hoped to see their chemists standing around in white coats documenting reactions on clipboards.  Something....anything!
     We bought a couple items just to show our support for an American institution, but it was just a gesture.  I wanted Disney World and all I got was a bag of Zappo's Spicy Cajun Crawtater's.  We paid what I felt was retail.
     Honestly?  It was okay, not the thrill I'd hoped for, but that's to be expected on a cruise.  You drive around.  You shoot some pics of old farms, browse through an occasional junk shop, and stumble across towns you've never heard of.  You get hungry.  You stop somewhere to grab a bag of chips to hold you over 'til dinner, and enjoy the scenery.
      Maybe one of these days we'll wise up and hit Baltimore.